Becoming a Death Doula with Sheila Trevors

Join us for an intimate conversation with Sheila Trevors as we explore her profound journey through Reiki to a soulful calling as a death doula. Dive into the heart of end-of-life care and discover the power of embracing this sacred path.

---

Sheila Trevors, residing in a small New Brunswick town, is passionately dedicating her semi-retirement to being a Reiki practitioner and a death doula. In her unique role, she combines the healing energy of Reiki with the compassionate presence of a death doula, focusing on making individuals feel seen and heard in their final moments. Inspired by the resilience of the human spirit, Sheila's work centers on providing comfort, dignity, and peace, ensuring a compassionate and respectful end-of-life experience for both the dying and their loved ones.

Get in Touch with Sheila
Email: sheila.trevorswilliams@gmail.com
[Coming Soon] Website: www.reikifromthechi.com

Pam Allen-LeBlanc is a scientist, a businesswoman, and a Licensed Reiki Master Teacher (LRMT) with the International Center for Reiki Training.  She is the author of "The Reiki Business Book" and a co-author of ICRT Animal Reiki training.  Pam teaches Reiki, Animal Reiki, and Animal Communication online and in person in Canada, the US, and Australia.

Get in Touch with Pam
Website: https://www.reikifromthefarm.com/
Email: pam@reikifromthefarm.com

A special thanks goes out to Music from Pixabay for the intro music and to Nate Miller for the meditation music.

Register for our newsletter!

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Youtube

pam@reikifromthefarm.com

Transcript

Pamela: 0:07

Hi and welcome to the Reiki from the Farm podcast brought to you by me, Pam Allen Leblanc from Hidden Brook Farm. I am a scientist, a businesswoman, and a licensed Reiki master teacher with the International Center for Reiki Training. Each week in this podcast you'll be entertained as you learn about a wide variety of relevant Reiki topics, helping you become a more knowledgeable and effective Reiki practitioner. We caution you though, this podcast may also dramatically improve your life, and we are so happy that you're here. On this week's podcast, I am talking with my friend Sheila Trevers, who is not only a Reiki master teacher with Yosui Reiki, Animal Reiki, ICRT Animal Reiki, as well as Karuna Reiki, but she has been called to become a death doula. through Reiki. Welcome, Sheila. Thank you. It's so nice to have you here. Before we begin, I just want to let you know that I've got some great classes coming up on in January. I have a full lineup of Reiki Level 1 and 2 and Masterclasses January 27th. 20th to 24th, and then the 27th to 31st, Animal Reiki, and in February, the 3rd to 4th, I'm teaching Animal Communication, and the 5th to 7th, Kaurna Reiki. My daughter and I are also teaching our Reiki business class on marketing starting January 17th, and it's three Monday evenings in a row from 6 to 9 or 9 30 p. m. January 17th, 24th, and 31st. which is 10 hours where we just give you everything, the best of what we've learned about marketing to try to help you save time and money and just be successful marketing your own spiritual business. January 18th, if you live in the Fredericton region, there will be a Fredericton SPCA Rainbow Bridge event where I'll be teaching people or explaining how our animals feel about death. And for those of you who do not live close by and I'll also be doing a meditation to help heal grief and communicating with some animals live at the event. anD for those of you who don't live around here though and would like to attend, I will be doing a corresponding event on February 7th in the evening, 6 to 9 p. m. Eastern time. And at that event, I will be also donating the proceeds to our Fredicton. Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, SPCA. So please join us if you would like to. On January 30th, if you'd like to understand how you can use animal Reiki and animal communication and just energy in general, to deepen your own connection with animals I'd like to share with you some of the secrets and things that I've learned. of just over a decade being an animal communicator and an animal Reiki practitioner. So I'd love to have you join us. Sheila, do you have any classes coming up or anything that you'd like to let people know about? I don't have anything

Sheila: 3:42

planned right now, but I'll be working closely with Your daughter. Yes. To actually form an online presence for myself. So hopefully in the new year, there'll be some great news about that.

Pamela: 3:57

That's fantastic. And if you do have a website we'll put it in the podcast link or if you have a URL and we can let people know and that goes live. You were in the marketing class, weren't you? I was. How did you find it?

Sheila: 4:12

There was an awful lot of technical stuff, and yeah, I've been challenged technically for a number of years I found it very eye opening, but I do believe it's something that I'd have to look at again, because it just wow, I was, you Can you really do that? And does that really work? So yeah, I think that is one I definitely would go through again.

Pamela: 4:38

Oh, wonderful. And any of you, like Sheila, if you've attended that last June when we offered it, the class filled. So go ahead and register soon if you'd like to come. It was a full class. But if you would like to attend, you're welcome to attend a second time at half fee. And of course, you also get the recordings from that class. And the idea is the recordings. You also get the the PowerPoint presentation as well. And the idea is we do throw a lot at you. Because we want to make the best. use of your time and for you to get the best value for your time. But we do send you the recordings and that we noticed that this first time, it's a little bit overwhelming. The second time, it gets more comfortable. And the third time, you're so that you listen, you're so familiar with it that you think yeah, everybody knows that. But actually, not everybody does. I'd also like to just invite everybody to bring your hands in Gassho so that we can invite Reiki to flow through us today. And I'm reminded of my dearly departed friend, Pam McMahon, who said that the two most important breaths that we'll ever take are our first and our last. And just honoring the importance of assisting people through that very important transition, the end of life, and also just having Reiki available to help their loved ones once they have passed. And if you've ever lost anyone in your life, we hope that this talk, this presentation today, brings you some peace. Just allow the Reiki to flow through your body. At the end of our presentation, we are going to do a grief healing meditation, which is something that the animals gifted us with because they don't want us to remain in grief after they pass. Take a deep breath and just allow Reiki to flow through you wherever it needs to go, activating your symbols and take a moment to say thank you to you for the beautiful light that you shed in the world today. We are so blessed to be of a lineage of light bringers who are creating wellness on the earth today. And that of course begins with each of us creating wellness within ourselves. Aho, Namaste. Well, Sheila, I remember, you and I have been through the Reiki levels together. And I remember when you told me that you were being called to become a death doula. Can you talk to us about that and when you realized that Reiki was guiding you in that direction? Yeah.

Sheila: 7:51

For many years I I've been doing bedside vigils with family and friends in the Caribbean, in the us, in Canada. And while I didn't really have specific training for it I used Reiki and just trusted in the process because I've had Reiki for over 20 years now. Yep. It was absolutely mind blowing every single time I went through it because of course every death is unique. Yeah. But I just kept thinking there has to be more that I can do to assist with the process. So when my best friend and sister passed, I was at her bedside and she said to me, please just be here and give me Reiki treatments, which is exactly the way it went. It calmed her, it helped with her pain management and then one day I was walking down the hallway in the hospital and the head of medicine, who happened to be a Buddhist as well, I met a guy who was familiar with my sister's case and he said, Why are you still here? You're still here at the hospital, like, all day, all hours of the day and night. And I said, I'm a Reiki master and I feel that It's really important for me to be here with her during this time. He was really very happy. He knew that Reiki was so helpful to people in their end of life. And he really encouraged me. Then recently I had a situation in another hospital. In, Hamilton. I was in the ICU with a family member who was in end of life, and I was. with Reiki in the room and using my symbols and so on. And the doctors who were in the ICU as well, watched me a bit. And my friend went outside the ICU room and talked to them and said she's here and she's doing Reiki. And they were so impressed. So they knew Reiki as well. And it just underlined the fact how important this is and how hospitals now too are starting to recognize that this is an important thing to have not just for end of life, but for everyone, including their staff. So yeah, that's how I came to it.

Pamela: 10:36

I love that and it, and so you find that Reiki played a really big part.

Sheila: 10:43

Oh, it was everything. It was everything. Wow. It was. It brought a sense of sacred. Yes. To the room. Yeah. There was a calm and a peace. And just sacred is the word.

Pamela: 10:57

I remember a nurse messaging me, and she lived, she worked in a nursing home, and one evening late, she was on the night shift, there was a woman passing, and she was struggling, and struggling to breathe and just, it, It was not peaceful and my friend, just her heart went out to her and she thought I'll offer Reiki if the woman doesn't want it. And of course, she wasn't verbal. She wasn't coherent at this point. It won't flow, but she just placed her hands on the woman. The woman immediately calmed down. Her breathing became normal and within five minutes she passed. Peacefully. And my friend was a little, she was just a brand new Reiki practitioner. She was a little freaked out. She said, is that normal? And I said Reiki will never cause harm and it will never go where, and she said, I know I didn't have, I couldn't ask the woman's permission. She wasn't. Cognizant enough. I just asked Reiki, only go there if she wants it. And she said, but it flowed from my hands. And it was just, she goes, but it was immediate. And she was so surprised, that it would have helped that woman so profoundly, so quickly. And, and I just said, I'm just grateful. I don't know this woman, but I'm grateful that you were there. Yeah, so I just, this isn't something that I've ever done but I've been with animals as they've passed, but not the human animal. So where and how did you train to become a death doula and what would you recommend to people around that? Because you trained. Yes I did. Normally.

Sheila: 12:39

And exactly two years ago to the day. Which is rather interesting. It is

Pamela: 12:45

rather interesting. Today? Two years ago today? Actually tomorrow. Tomorrow. Two years ago tomorrow.

Sheila: 12:52

I received my certificate and what I did was, I trained with the the group is called INELDA, so it's the International End of Life Doula Association I think they're based out of New York and they are a very well qualified and very professional organization Initially you do zoom calls and There are lectures and so on and then in the second part of it you have to work with a mentor and do case studies They write Evaluations on you and how can act and you have to work with them in palliative hospice various settings To see how you perform in those settings and you're evaluated on it.

Pamela: 13:44

Wow, amazing. Yeah, it's an amazing

Sheila: 13:47

process and I highly recommend it to people that are called to this.

Pamela: 13:52

Yeah, that, and so did you go there, or you wrote up the case studies of where you were? I can

Sheila: 14:00

actually do it in the town where I live because there is a gentleman, surprisingly enough, who is a clergy, and he has worked with the Dula Association before, so he's quite familiar with how that goes. And he does a lot of work in palliative and hospice, so it was just meant to be.

Pamela: 14:24

Oh wow, it truly was. That's amazing. And so you were able to, just within your hometown to do all of these case studies. It sounds very thorough, Sheila. They

Sheila: 14:33

Really are very professional. It's a very high level, yes.

Pamela: 14:38

Can you tell us like some of the things that you learned and some of the things that you studied, the essence of your work as a death doula?

Sheila: 14:48

It goes much further than the bedside vigil. That's the part that most people We be familiar with. It covers things like, there are really three steps that we learn and one is called legacy. One is called bedside vigil and one is called grief counseling. So after the passing of the loved one. So the legacy part is really not ignored, but not really taken. too seriously these days, I find. It's about planning. And it's about getting your paperwork right, essentially.

Pamela: 15:30

Yeah, there's so much paperwork and it's so expensive for somebody to die. It's incredibly expensive. I was shocked when I heard from friends who lost parents and so on, just all of the different expenses

Sheila: 15:46

that. It's that's certainly a big part of it. And it's just making sure that your documentation is in order. So you have a will, for instance. That's the one that most people are familiar with, but any end of life wishes that you have are recorded. That's very important as well. And here's one that really surprised me, but I hadn't really thought about before being involved with Enelda. They think that, and they're absolutely correct, that it's important that you Decide how you want to be remembered. fOr instance do you want a cookbook with your favorite recipes, the ones that everybody knows you buy. Do you want that to be available to people? It's, do you want to make a, I don't know a movie or something? Wow. Just recording some of your favorite memories. These are some of the things that people do and it just gives a structure and a purpose to things so that. If you have the time, and sometimes of course that's not possible, but if you have the time, it really is so worthwhile because it not only gives people a sense of who you were, but it's a lasting, quote, legacy. So it's quite beautiful actually. That is

Pamela: 17:14

lovely. And then you also, and then the next, so then once you get that sort of in order then you talked about the bedside vigil. Tell us a little bit about that. Yeah,

Sheila: 17:25

with the bedside vigil it's a question of creating a space. That is sacred, that is calm, quiet, peaceful, if, and I say if, that is what the end of life

Pamela: 17:41

person wants. Some people will want it to be full of people and games and parties,

Sheila: 17:46

and there's a, there's one that we talked about in the course, actually, where the person wanted to have a A bush party. I love that. So they wanted to have a bonfire and they wanted, people dancing and singing and they were there. They were, in their finally wrapped up in the bed of a truck and yeah watching everything going

Pamela: 18:10

on and that would be a good I think that's a great son. I like that one. I like that one Sheila You're you gave me ideas when I'm a hundred and nine and ready to go. That's what I want I've got a big fire pit out here. Great big fire or maybe some time on Campobello Watching the whales. Oh my gosh. No, that sounds amazing So

Sheila: 18:32

it's a question of not just necessarily Sitting by a bedside, which of course can be quite beautiful and you can create a lovely atmosphere with music and pictures of the family and if they like specific scents, they can be in the room, but I think the most important thing is if that's what they choose, You've got to create a sense of the sacred, the peaceful, the quiet, and allow people to talk and express, memories of the person. And if the person is able to speak as well, lots of times things will come out that they've always wanted to say, so it's a question of listening. and compassionate listening and not presuming that but just compassion and listening and for some people they've never really been heard. These are things that they've never really said so it's about the most important step in people's lives and to be there to support it is indeed a wonder. Wow, it's really a wonder.

Pamela: 19:54

That sounds amazing. And then you talk about grief. And I'm assuming that's after they pass just helping their loved ones through that stage.

Sheila: 20:06

And lots of times, again, it comes down to compassionate listening. It comes down to listening. Don't try to put words in their mouth. Don't try to direct it. Allow them to direct things. presets, where they are and just, but allowing them to grieve. Don't be uncomfortable with the grief. And there are times when. you've established such a bond with the family and with the loved one that there are times when the tears will flow for you too. I was just

Pamela: 20:53

gonna say you would probably go into grief as well. Yes

Sheila: 20:56

just let them flow but you know for the longest time I thought that I wasn't strong enough to do this work. I do it sporadically here and there and then I found out that probably first of all, my work is important. It is needed. And the biggest thing I can do for myself is self care. Yes,

Pamela: 21:24

so important.

Sheila: 21:25

Reiki I live and breathe Reiki. Reiki is a lifestyle for me. Yes. And self care. So if you have to go for a walk, go for a walk. If you have to cry. But by all means. Do your daily Reiki. It's just the most important thing. It keeps you balanced. It keeps you grounded, keeps you stable, and it allows you to do the work that you have to do.

Pamela: 21:52

And get Reiki from others too, if you need to. That's one of the things we recommend in animal Reiki because it can be you can struggle with compassion fatigue from it. So just making sure that you get Reiki sessions from others as well, yes. Yeah. Good point, Sheila. What are some of the most significant lessons you've learned about life, death, and the human experience from this work?

Sheila: 22:19

Just how precious life is. Yeah. How fleeting it can be. It's, yeah, it's just to be treasured and this, what has happened to me in the last few years is it has softened me, taken me down a few pegs, if you will, because I I was a business owner, I still am a business owner, and I had a bit of a hard edge to myself, I have to say and others would probably agree with it.

Pamela: 22:59

I've never seen it.

Sheila: 23:02

You've got to know me at the right time. There you go.

Pamela: 23:07

But I'll believe you if you say it.

Sheila: 23:12

Just make the most of every minute. All you really have is now. Yeah. Yesterday's gone. More is not guaranteed. You haven't. So phone up the people that you love. Tell them you love them, show up on their doorstep, bake a cookie for them. Yeah, really make, keep making the connections because you just never know how long people have wanted to hear these things, have wanted to see your face. And sometimes it's just the simple things like showing up and giving them a call. That's really what I've learned.

Pamela: 23:54

You're giving me a thought I need to do better on that. I think we all do. I'm not, I don't always find time in my schedule to reach out to the people that I care for. But that's so true. You talked, Sheila, you didn't talk, but. Tell us a little bit when you're in that vigil, you've seen people, pointing at the corner of the room and at the, and lighting up and tell us a little bit about that magic that you've witnessed.

Sheila: 24:27

I've been blessed, so blessed, with the ability to, at times, see through the veil. And what that essentially means is that when we are in a bedside vigil and loved ones want to show their support from the other side. They will sometimes show up. In fact, I have never sat a vigil that they did not show

Pamela: 24:54

up. Yeah, I was going to say, I bet you they always show up. Yeah, always show

Sheila: 24:58

up. I have been witness to a lot of things. You will see pets show up. You'll see mom and dad show up that have passed. You'll see, a great love from previously in, in their life show up. I have noticed that lots of times these spirits from the other side will show up in the upper right corner of the room. And I don't know why it's the upper right corner, but it is. And you will see. People who are in their end of life, if they're lying there in bed, and they'll just point at the corner of the room, and I've been in situations where family members will say what's that? There's nothing over there. There's no spider webs over there. Why is he doing that? And I'll gently say to them, I really think that what they're seeing is their mom and dad and the little dog that they love so much. And they'll say, how did you know that? I can see it. I actually can see it. It's

Pamela: 26:12

fortunate that you can, and yeah.

Sheila: 26:17

It seems that if the person who is, let's, for lack of a better phrase, in the bed is acknowledged that way, it seems to bring a great deal of peace to them, that everything is good, that they are being escorted to the other side, and that in fact their loved ones have actually heard those words, So it's a really interesting time. Wow. Yeah. I was just thinking about one that I was at recently and it was but the actual loved one who showed up at this bedside vigil the spirit. Actually accompanied us to the funeral as well. So when I was doing the Wow, yeah. when I was doing the eulogy at this funeral, there was the loved one up in the corner and the person who had passed up in the corner, up in the corner, they were reunited. Oh. And it was the most beautiful thing. And I could I'll say that I couldn't have stood there and said that to the. Congregation that were sitting in front of me, but I suppose I could have said it, I probably wouldn't have been pinched out, but

Pamela: 27:45

I, when I go to funerals, I often notice, I can see the person who has passed just witnessing it and it is beautiful and there are usually people with them and I don't always know the other people. I, I knew the person, in the casket, but I see them there. I recognize them and I realize, That they attend their own funerals, their spirit and, or their soul. And it just gives them so much joy to see everybody and to, hear the speeches and, or the, I was recently at a funeral that was, I remember thinking, Oh my gosh, she is just loving this. It was her type of music. It was that her grandson got up and gave this beautiful eulogy. And I could just see that she was just so happy on the other side. And then also so happy with the honoring of her life in that funeral. Wow. And I remember, I think, one of the first times you witnessed that you let me know it was with one of your own loved ones. Yes.

Sheila: 28:53

Yes, it was. And I was blown away because I thought, okay I'm not sure what to do with this but this is pretty cool.

Pamela: 29:04

I remember you told me about that and I just said, yeah, that's, I think it's pretty normal actually, but it's just what's abnormal is you're able to see it. Not everybody is.

Sheila: 29:14

And that I found strange too, because I thought, oh everybody sees this,

Pamela: 29:18

no, I don't see as much as you do. I see things, like I see people at their funerals, I always see their spirits there, I get a sense, I see them, I see what clearly looks to be loved ones around them and with them. I see how joyful they are, like when they're on the other side, I see that. Yes, they are a light. They are they're just. They're beaming, and, interestingly, I know that the, one of the women recently, I know she was a Christian, and I noticed that she was sitting with Jesus, and I thought, oh, she would be so happy! She must be I knew how happy, that she never would have anticipated. that he would be sitting with her, witnessing the funeral, but I saw the two of them together and I was, and I could just, she was just like in, in awe and beaming and. Yeah. So then tell me a bit about supporting people in grief, that, that part of it how are you trained? What are you told to do there?

Sheila: 30:23

It is, something I haven't done a lot of, it is mostly legacy work and bedside vigil, but from what I have done. It is just simply allowing them to speak, allowing them to talk about the loved one, allowing them to, go down memory lane and allowing them to also delve a little bit into the legacy work that has been done and just understand it a little bit and yeah, just be there for them, just listening. That's it. And compassionate listening. And of course, Reiki. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of Reiki. Reiki is huge. Yes. I'd like to say something about another thing that happens. Yeah. Please. There are so many different kinds of death. There's hospice and there's palliative and there's sudden death and, but there's one as well called maid. It is the oh, assisted. Assisted death. Assisted death. Yes. Which of course, we we allow in New Brunswick. Yep. Not everywhere does, but in New Brunswick we do. And I have had. A client of mine signed up for Resisted Death. And it's a whole process of which I'm somewhat familiar, not totally up to date on, but through her I became somewhat familiar with it. So she started coming to my Reiki space. I have a little room out back where it's all decorated and I do Reiki treatments and it's just a sweet little space. It is. Yeah, Pam's seen

Pamela: 32:21

it. I have. It's its own little cabin. It's just so cute. Yes,

Sheila: 32:25

I have to change it from Reiki Shed to

Pamela: 32:27

Reiki Cabin. Yes, there you go.

Sheila: 32:31

And she started coming there. I can actually see her face as we're talking about her. She's got a big smile right now. Wonderful lady. She had a couple of months before her appointment, so she would come quite often and we would spend lots of time connecting. She wanted to connect with the other side. Wow. She wanted to explore her spirit guides. She wanted to understand a little bit about where she was going and. I was in awe. That's the only thing I can say. I was in awe. The things that we saw, the things that we talked about, she had a sense of peace, a sense of joy, that I don't think I've seen in many people. She had completely, put herself in the process, embraced the process. And she was just such an inspiration to me to see the way that she maneuvered through the process. Wow. I was with her virtually on her last day when she actually transitioned. And it was nothing short of miraculous. It was very beautiful.

Pamela: 34:01

I often used to think that with animals, they have shown me how much they appreciate our compassionate assistance when it's time for them to go, that it's just easier for them. And I often use, and then, after witnessing some relatives and people, my grandmother, people that I was close with, two grandmothers actually really suffer in their last days. I can remember thinking, wow, in a way, we're kinder to animals. Then to people because we don't expect the animals to suffer. We'll assist them. And so it, it was really interesting when we did begin allowing people to make that choice. And it's a wonderful step forward. I think it is. And so beautiful that you got to be a part of that.

Sheila: 34:49

I Will never ever forget it. And she left me with not only the wonderful memories, but she also gave me a box of her books. She was a very spiritual woman. Yes. And she gave me a box of books on spirituality. Wow. So They're all lined up on my windowsill in the bedroom and I see them quite often and some of them I've read some of them I haven't but every time I see them I smile because yeah She that was I guess that was her legacy right there because she didn't really have family around her or anything. She was more or less on her own, and it was just a beautiful thing to do.

Pamela: 35:32

Oh, that's lovely, Sheila. Speaking on grief, I can remember one of my students who passed away suddenly and unexpectedly, and I found out, and I actually, her spirit came, and her soul came to speak to me, and she said, look, can you go to my, to the visitation and just let my family know that I'm okay. But not only am I okay, I'm really ready to do things over here on the other side. But their grief is holding me back. It's holding and she showed how it's like a balloon wanting to float up. But the grief was holding her tethered. And I said, Okay, I don't know how this is going to go. But I did go to the visitation. And fortunately, her sister who I knew was there and her aunt, I knew both of them and I shared it with them and I hoped that would be all that I would need to do. And but no, they said, Oh, come tell her father and her husband, what she said. And I, Oh dear. Her father, who was actually a minister he thanked me and told me how much he appreciated it because And he became aware that his grief was so all encompassing because she was a young woman, it wasn't expected. And he recognized that he needed to turn it over to Source. And her husband, the same thing, I thought, Oh, I don't know how her husband's going to feel. about this, but he got emotional and he said, that makes sense to me. Thank you so much for letting me know. And the animals have shown me that too, that so often if we get too stuck in the grief that It takes us away from remembering all of the good times and all of the wonderfulness that we shared together. So they wanted us to learn how to let go of the grief and how to process the grief. Would you, is that consistent with what you've experienced or?

Sheila: 37:34

Absolutely. And I think that parents who opt for euthanasia with their pets often carry the trauma of that.

Pamela: 37:45

Yes. And guilt and

Sheila: 37:46

guilt, horrible guilt. And that also is where Reiki can come in and really make a huge difference as well. You have some specific meditations around that. We. We do.

Pamela: 38:01

In the Animal Reiki Manual, yes, they gave us a grief healing meditation. And I still have a few questions for you, but we'll go into that and share that with everybody now. And we've noticed that the mental emotional symbol or the emotional balance symbol can be very useful to help release and Relieve grief, actually, so that, that can be helpful, but you your doula work has been transitioning a bit as well. In addition to working with people, you've found you've been called to work as a pet doula. Tell us a little bit about that. It

Sheila: 38:39

is something that I really want to to delve into because I feel that it's something that's not being serviced as a market, if you will. That's a Cold and clinical way of saying it.

Pamela: 38:54

But no, but there, there are no hospices for animals that I'm aware of. Are there No. Or palliative or, none that I'm aware of. None that I'm aware of. So usually a human who may or may not be well equipped, who adores this animal and has been with them for their li their lifetimes, they basically have to do that care and make the decisions. Yeah. Yeah. So how, as a pet doula, are you able to assist them with that?

Sheila: 39:22

You know what? I hadn't really thought about the hospice side of things. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I hadn't really thought about that. I was

Pamela: 39:30

more

Sheila: 39:31

thinking more mainstream, such as working with the pet parents after euthanizing a dear pet. Yeah. And also working with the staff. In the veterinary clinics, because I see them horribly

Pamela: 39:47

traumatized. It's so hard on our medical professionals doing that work. It's, and sometimes they have to recommend it because of the health or the disease, the health, the lack of health of the animal. And I, you're right, I have seen animal professionals just devastated. By and with serious compassion fatigue or secondary traumatic stress disorder from having to euthanize animals. You're right. Absolutely.

Sheila: 40:17

Absolutely. I've been called to be there virtually at the death of a deer animal. But then I've been sitting in the parking lot of the veterinary clinic. And people just devastated when they're coming out. Yeah, just devastated. And I just, yeah, I'm called to somehow get involved. with these pet parents and just do something for them because I've been there myself. We all

Pamela: 40:52

have as well. We all have. And it's so hard to say goodbye to someone in, a furry friend in, or a winged friend in your family, someone, an animal who knows you intimately, you've been together for a long time, like it's gotta be one of the It's just as hard as saying goodbye to a human friend. It's very difficult.

Sheila: 41:20

Absolutely. Yeah. And some people honestly never recover. No. Honestly, don't. I I was speaking before about being at the bedside of someone who was in end of life and their parents and the little dog showed up. Yeah. That, I think. was the healing of so much trauma in that person's life, and part of it was for the pet as well. So it was like everything just came together in that one minute and they were at peace. They were at peace.

Pamela: 42:03

And that's really, that's the goal is to. Help us with that. wAs there anything, any moments from your experience as a death doula that deeply impacted you? I know you shared some already. Is there, are there any others that you'd like to share? Goodness.

Sheila: 42:21

So many.

Pamela: 42:24

Will we be here for a while? We'll be here for a while.

Sheila: 42:27

Just yes, I did share some of them. I couldn't possibly Each one impacts me very deeply. Each one is unique. Each one is sacred and I am absolutely blown away that I have been called to this particular way of serving. And I just hope that more people become involved with this because There is a great need. We have to actually get the word out in the communities that our services are available, that yes, we are qualified, and that we can make a big difference. Yeah. The hospice the palliative care, the, all the various areas that can be serviced with this. I think, take the training, take the doula training, it really is. Yes. a second to none. That's very good. And take the Reiki training. Get to a level where you can understand how to best serve people and how to best serve animals in this capacity. Take it, take the training. It's important.

Pamela: 43:57

And for someone who If there is already a death doula who wants to integrate Reiki into what they're doing or a Reiki practitioner who has someone that they love who is passing, what would you tell them to do? What advice would you give them?

Sheila: 44:15

I would say that if they want to involve a death doula, is that what you're saying?

Pamela: 44:21

No I'm just thinking if you've got somebody who is a death doula who wants to bring Reiki in, let's start with that, what would you, how would you tell them to do that? They can

Sheila: 44:31

either contact a Reiki practitioner, and interview someone who might be able to assist them. Yeah. But even better if they could actually take the training themselves. Do the Reiki training. And go on the ICRT website, find someone in their area who is teaching, and actually get the training because the two were hand in glove. Really

Pamela: 44:59

great synergy. I am, I would expect that they do work so well together. And now, say somebody has a loved one who is passing, and they may not be trained as a doula, but they have Reiki. What would you encourage them to do?

Sheila: 45:13

They can also I believe Enelda now has a directory. That they can consult. And there aren't an awful lot of us out there but there are some. And you can take a look and see if there's anyone available in your area. And then, again, interview them. See if it's a good fit for you, because, there are various personalities and bring them in. But the sooner the better because chances are you're dealing with a finite

Pamela: 45:47

length of time. And what would be a good timeline if you were going to involve a death doula in what you're doing, like in somebody who's passing, when would you recommend that they get in touch with them?

Sheila: 46:00

If you follow the standard model and That can start at anytime. We can start when someone is actually well. Dan find Adula hu Kien. guide you through the paperwork, guide you through your end of life wishes, and make sure everything is documented. And then actually set up a legacy project, like the cookbook, like the

Pamela: 46:29

movie, whatever,

Sheila: 46:31

however you want to be best

Pamela: 46:32

remembered. Yeah, you might set up a trust or donate or yeah, that's a very good idea too.

Sheila: 46:38

Yeah,

Pamela: 46:39

beautiful. And now say you've got someone who Getting a doula in may not be part, may not be what they're able to do, but they do have Reiki and someone that they love is getting near. What would, near, near passing, what would you recommend that they do? You'd probably check if the person would like to receive Reiki.

Sheila: 47:00

Yeah. And we would do that regardless, wouldn't we? Whether they were in end of life or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I would say. Because Reiki is so integral to the process, it's really the driver in it.

Pamela: 47:17

Oh, so just trust your Reiki guidance. Ask

Sheila: 47:20

for guidance. Reiki will tell you exactly what is needed. And of course, the person cannot be harmed with Reiki. That's just not possible. And

Pamela: 47:31

it won't go where it's not wanted. And that's also

Sheila: 47:34

true. So if one were to ask for Reiki guidance. Then be guided accordingly, and provide as much support as you possibly can through, we go back to the previous part of the conversation through providing a sacred space, a calm, quiet, peaceful space. And also Reiki treatments. which can help immensely with pain meds. Yes. So it can be an adjunct to the pain meds. Yep. Very important and therefore the person can relax. Also you'll notice that when medical staff enter a space where the Reiki symbols are, you've probably noticed it yourself. I have. There's a sense of calm. A Sense of just respect and compassion

Pamela: 48:35

and that everything's going to be okay. Yes. Isn't

Sheila: 48:38

it? Yes. There's not this, not sadness. Of course there's sadness, but there's not this deep grief that follows them around. It's a really important thing.

Pamela: 48:51

It is. I know the animals had told us, and I feel that this is similar for humans, just about the importance of allowing the grief to allowing it to let go, to process. And one of the ways to process it very efficiently is through Reiki, because, so that we don't hold our loved ones. Tethered and also that we don't hold ourselves back. And one of the things that the animals told me, Sheila, is while you're busy missing me, you're forgetting about all the joy we had together and all the life lessons we learned and that was really the point of our time together, our death, my death was really a small part of it and I don't know, the animals have told me so much about what's on the other side, so January 18th and February 7th online, if you'd like to learn more about that I would love to have you join us and support the Fredericton SVCA. Do you see the role of death doulas evolving in society today and how can we create a more compassionate open dialogue about death and dying? It's something that You know, nobody wants to talk about and my parents every time we go home, they're like, what do you want when we go? And, we want you to do this and you to do that. And we've got our wills and we bought our, and we're like, guys, we don't want to talk about that. But really, it's important to talk about that. So what guidance would you give us there? And do you see the role of the death doula evolving?

Sheila: 50:29

Of course, death is part of life. It is. And that's not trite, that's a fact. It's a circle. And, I find that the Indigenous people are very good about that, about seeing the circle of life and about understanding that death is part of it. We can learn a lot from that. I think too and this is a little controversial, but why not? Why not? I think that the earlier that children become aware of this, and maybe a bit involved, if family members are ill. Don't I don't believe that one should, hide the fact. I believe that it should be brought out in the open, and explained in Child terms, don't get silly on it, but just involve the children so that they know that someone is gravely ill and that there may be a passing and so on. The younger that people become involved, and not traumatized, but dealt with in a sensitive manner, but still involved in the whole process, I think that's the best chance that we have of carrying it forward and melting away those generational boundaries a bit because in a lot of communities, it's just tucked away. It's, take someone out of the hospital and off to the funeral home and gone. Yeah. No I really believe that our best chance for the future. is is exposing people at an early age and

Pamela: 52:18

teaching them about it. Yeah. I think about my own kids and they were exposed to death at an early age because we had farm animals and, oh my goodness, it's hard to keep chickens alive and, and ducks and so on. And so they had to learn about that at an early age. And I can remember one client who just. Her daughter was about to graduate, I was a couple of years away from graduation and they just didn't want to say goodbye to their beloved dog and but the dog was ready to go and one of the things we say with, with In Animal Reiki, we don't make decisions for people about whether they should euthanize or not or, but we do, we are able to give the following advice. Are you prolonging their life or prolonging their death? And I think that we could think about that. from a human standpoint as well. And I had to explain to my client, you're prolonging her death because she's not really comfortable. And it's also as much as you want to shield your child from this, it's going to be very helpful for your child to be exposed to some of that impermanence. And, you've shared that impermanence makes you appreciate every single moment. And every day, just witnessing that has made life look precious. I love that explanation. And in the end they, they did decide to. Let the dog go and it was difficult. She was about the perfect dog. She really was perfect and The next little dog they got was not so perfect. So But it's all learning I think it's all learning Before we go into our meditation today. Do you have a message of hope or inspiration for our listeners? Just to explain the beauty and sacredness that can be found in this work.

Sheila: 54:18

I believe that, again, there have to be an awful lot more Reiki masters, an awful lot more death doulas in this life and I'm seeing it. It's happening albeit very slowly from the doula side of things, but we have a role to play and our role is sacred and we have to get the word out there. I think that at the end of the day, what is the phrase? We're all walking each other home. Yeah, we're all walking each other home. So the most. Compassionate support that we can provide each other that's where it's at.

Pamela: 55:00

Yeah, no, we are all walking each other home. Sheila, thank you. And for those of you listening, if you've lost a loved one and who hasn't, I'd like to And our podcast today with the animal grief healing meditation, this is appropriate for both humans and animals. So I just to give you a moment to think about anyone in your life that you may have lost, and if you have Reiki, go ahead and activate your Reiki hands and place Reiki symbols around you and just do a short Gassho meditation with your hands together at your heart space, just inviting Reiki to flow, and then just placing your hands comfortably on your body. Giving yourself Reiki. If you have the emotional balance symbol, just invite it to be present and flowing in the room. If you don't, Sheila and I will be sending you all of our symbols, so they'll be floating around you. We ask Reiki to surround any people, animals, or deceived loved ones that are experiencing grief. We ask the distance symbol to allow the energy to envelop you and anyone else who is grieving in Reiki as this healing occurs. And if there are any enlightened beings, angels, archangels, Brothers and sisters of the light, divine animals that you feel close to, invite them to be present with you as well. Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes as the light of the earth, the light of the divine beings, and the light of creation surround you now and fill your breath. We invite the light of Reiki to flow around you and through you and any loved ones who are experiencing grief. Take a moment to acknowledge the loss of your friend. Whether they're two legged or four winged or finned, it's natural to feel grief when you lose someone you love. So healthfully acknowledge the grief that you're experiencing for a moment in order to make it easier each day in the future. And if, besides grief, we are burdened by life events with our loved ones because of loss or worry, or any physical, emotional, spiritual injuries, These are all released from us through the light and grace of forgiveness now. They travel out on your breath and into the light and power of love, where they're healed all the way back to their original cause. We take a moment to send love and Reiki to your loved ones who have passed, and we ask that the love and Reiki assist them in making a smooth transition to their next phase, whatever that phase might be, in the afterlife. Understanding that while we miss them, we also wish them the best that the afterlife offers. We take a moment in gratitude that our loved ones have been released from pain and suffering. And also in gratitude, if there were wonderful and compassionate professionals that assisted them toward the end, or assisted us in this most important journey. But most importantly, we are thankful for the time that we had. with these special beings while we were on our Earth journeys together. I invite you now to think back to a time when your loved one or loved ones were at their most vibrant and healthy. And to just remember some of the wonderful times that you experienced together. Think for a moment how much you have grown and learned together because of your time together. And recognize how your life has improved. Because of your relationship, and we give thanks for that, we acknowledge now that as we allow our grief to heal, we will then connect with our loved ones again, differently, from a different place, and this we embrace, love is revealed to you now, love is revealed in you, And love is revealed through you, and so you remember your love. I'd like to thank you for allowing me to assist you as you say goodbye for now to these beautiful beings that were so important to you. I invite Reiki to continue to flow to everyone involved for as long as you need to help it heal. your trauma and grief. Thank you so much for being with us this week and sharing about this very special topic. Thank you, Sheila, for making the drive down from the Miramichi to talk with us. My pleasure. I wish you all the best. Namaste.